Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
