Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize