I'm drive I can fine osifer
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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