Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
worst night to have a conscience
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
my liver is dry heaving
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
