He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
