So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
