All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
