I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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