3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
