I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
