They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
