that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
