So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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