a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Randomize
