Capitaan dildo arrescate!
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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