I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Randomize
