So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize