no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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