i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
