I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize