I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
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