this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
