Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
