Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
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