So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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