very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
