worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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