hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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