9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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