for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Randomize
