his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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