singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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