all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
