Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
