How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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