ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
