Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
