hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
