I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
