Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
