my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize