She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
