areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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