I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
