i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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