I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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