the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
