Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
