i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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