STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
it hurts more in the daytime
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
