Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I would fuck him just for his dog
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
