I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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