You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Randomize
