I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I wish you could order shots online.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
